Parenting as Triage

Søren had his six
month check up, he continues to struggle with a diaper rash and may be one of
those children who gets an ear infection every time he is in a room that has
germs in it, but otherwise, at 21 lbs 9 oz and 28 inches, he is a healthy,
thriving kid.

I get made fun of in our
postnatal yoga class because I can nurse while attempting such postures as the
tree… I’ve tried explaining that a lot of mothering three kids is being able
to do several things at once. My friend Lillian recounts suddenly being aware
that she was nursing, playing a game with her four year old, correcting her ten
year old’s homework, editing something on the computer and talking on the phone
and realizing that doing any two of these things would freak the average man
out. And I remember before having children being unable to cook a dinner with
more than two dishes because I just couldn’t do more than one thing at a
time.

That said, as Søren gets
heavier I prefer to stay in one place while nursing. Immobilization has its
disadvantages, however. Xander wanders off from wherever Søren and I
have gone to join him, and gets quiet — too
quiet.


Next I hear him asking “Mom, is this
fabric?” He approaches, something soft and grey in his hand — relief! it’s
just dryer lint. No, wait, it’s the color of his shirt, where popsicle hasn’t
dripped on it, and he has scissors in hand — yes, he’s cut a swatch. At least
I don’t have to worry about getting the popsicle stain
out.

I don’t know what I would have to
do to prevent this, but I ask, one more time “What are scissors for?” “Paper.”
“That’s right. Throw that t-shirt away. We don’t cut
t-shirts.”

I take a deep breath and
remind myself that during my first two pregnancies I prayed for sweet, funny,
creative, smart children. Only with this last one did I throw in a clause “with
a healthy respect for my
boundaries.”

We’re enjoying a visit now
with the boys’ great aunt, my father’s older sister Sara, who resides in Manila.
It’s fun having visitors because you get to see your town through fresh eyes as
you show it off, and also, perhaps your children. I enjoy Sara’s interactions
with my children, remembering how, when I was a child, she was one of my
favorite adults for always treating me with the same respect she would show a
grown-up. We took Xander and Søren to the Women’s Museum while
Aodán was off finishing his last day of school, and I have to admit to
having a strong emotional response to the museum, seeing the stuff of women’s
history, inspired by the strength and diversity that it is the museum’s mission
to show. And I love getting to share that with a son of mine.